Egg retrieval/ Fert Report

Yesterday they retrieved 30 eggs!  Then today I got my fertilization report........  24 out of the 30 fertilized.. so we currently have 24 embryos!!!!!!!!!!!  Yay. I am so excited.  We did our first Progesterone in Oil shot last night and it was super easy.  I definitely think that a lot of this stuff is mind over matter.  I can't believe we're almost done with our cycle.  Soon we'll be waiting to find out if we're pregnant or not!

Dear Trigger Shot. I kicked your ass.

   Today we got the go ahead from Dr. A to trigger (Novarel) tonight 9:45 pm.  Our embryo transfer will be at 9:45 on Thursday morning.  (I am supposed to arrive there at 8:30)  I am getting super excited! SO far it looks like we have 24 FAT possible eggies. I was kind of concerned about the trigger shot but with me and Joseph working as a team... we totally nailed it.  GO US!

Emotions. Day 5 of Stims.

    Today is my day 5 of stims. (Gonal-F, Menopur) I have gotten a tad emotional this week here and there but today I think was the worst so far. Hubby got another job so I am super proud of him. I reminded him that I need him to come to all of my appointments with me to see our fertility Dr. He said he would do his best. For some reason today that answer wasn't good enough for me. hahahahahaha. I got really emotional and literally pouted for awhile. That's ok tho.  I just feel very strongly about doing all of the steps of the IVF process together.  I think the sense of support brings a lot more calmness to the situation. I mean afterall when two people make a baby, they do it together right? HAHAHAH.  Hey.. you know it's a valid point!

Baseline Ultrasound. 28 Follies!!!!

    Today we had our first ultrasound to monitor my ovaries for our IVF cycle.  My dr. said that on the screen my ovaries and follicles should resemble "swiss cheese."  Well, he said that I have some good swiss cheese! lol! My ovaries look to each have 14 follicles.  So thats 28 possible "future eggs."  The Dr. said that those are amazing numbers and that I am responding well to treatment. That most women would kill to have half of those numbers. :) I am just beaming with excitement. He was very pleased to see Joseph there as well. (Joseph goes to all of my fertility apointments.)  He gave us a nice little talk about how the husbands that come to 50% or more of their wives fertility appointments, tend to be better fathers.  Basically saying that they are more dedicated partners and in-turn more dedicated fathers.  Makes sense to me!  My estrogen levels also came back below 20, which is exactly where they want it. So because of that we get to move forward to our next level of treatment! So now all I have to do is wait for about 7pm and then I get to start my stimulation medications!!!  (Menopur, Gonal-F) I am pretty excited.  I have heard that the Menopur tends to sting/burn a bit.. so this should be interesting. We are just staying super positive and I think that by doing that, it is helping my body to respond in the same way. It's hard to believe that on the 22nd/23rd of July our baby should have been born.  It was during that same time that I started my IVF injections for this cycle. Kind of funny how that works isn't it?  I like to think of it as God saying.. "Hey, I know this might be a sad time for you.. but I promise there is something BEAUTIFUL getting ready to come out of this."  It's a one door closing and another one opening kinda thing.

This is basically the "swiss cheese" type thing that was shown to us. This isn't a picture of my follicles but it is a good example as to what I am talking about.

830 Productions- Semper Fi

Everyone please listen to this. It was written by my lil brother in law Dylan Parrish for his older brother and my husband Joseph Parrish when he was in Afghanistan. If you really stop and listen to it, the lyrics are awesome. I literally cried with pride when I heard this. ♥ ♥ Please get this out there! There is definitely talent!

[[.Country.Strong.]]

♥I have weathered colder winters
Longer summers without a drop of rain
Push me in a corner and I’ll come out fighting
I may lose but I ‘ll always keep my faith♥



   Okay so the big news is in!  The Compassionate Care Program called me this morning.... ::::DRUMMMM ROLLLL::::::   WE'RE APPROVED!!!! So happy right now you have no idea. So basically I am saving $1,000 on one of my meds.  SO AWESOME. This is exactly what I have been praying for. I am excited to be one step closer to IVF & and step closer to being a mommy. Super exciting. There have been so many neat things happening to us. I have been making some pretty bold decisions lately though. (Long story....) Joseph has been extremely chipper and loving lately. :)  I love it when he's like that.  It makes my day brighter in a sense. I love that pain in the butt wonderful man. He had another allergic reaction today when he went to base.  His Sgt had to Epipen him.. and then for whatever reason the first one did not work.  So they ended up needing to Epipen him again.  Poor Joe.  I know how hard it is for him.  It's not easy feeling so limited in the things that you can do all the time.  He's strong though. Stronger than I think he gives himself credit for. But he really is just such a strong, determined, big hearted, handsome individual. I have such immense respect for him and I love him more than anything.

"I'm too young for this.."

    Lately we have been trying to apply for the Serono Compassionate Care Program.  If approved, they will cover the cost of my Gonal-F for in-vitro.  Now let me just tell you that my Gonal-F is worth $1,000...  Pretty pricey.  So I have been scraping away to do what i have to do to get all the form and documents necessary to apply.  Well.. today i did it!  I got all of the papers together and they are now sitting on the desk of someone. This person will soon decide our fate.  So let's keep our fingers and toes crossed. lol.  We should know the answer within the next few days. I am pretty excited.  Joseph had sat in awe watching me as I sifted back and forth through the papers... stopping to look at this one... putting that one back in the folder.  The he calmly says, "I'm glad that I have you and that you're good at this kind of stuff."  I replied, "Why is that?"  He than said with wide eyes, "Because I am too young for this paperwork stuff."  HAHAHAHA. He let out a pretty good chuckle at that point. He was joking and yet I'm pretty sure he was being serious at the same time.

    I think Joe and me have pretty much got it sorted out. He's not very good at paperwork and sifting through bills or e-mail correspondence.... and I am.  It's just easy for me.  I guess I get it from my mom.  I am perfectly okay with that though.  Joe is good at tons of things that I am not good at.  Joe can play any sport and naturally be amazing.  He can do math like nobody's business and he can make people laugh like nobody's business.  I can't stand math on the other hand.  I'm amazing at writing and English.. and I am pretty uncoordinated.  Although on a horse I am graceful as can be.  It makes so sense to me really.  However, I have somehow grown used to the idea that I am not an easy person to understand. lol.

This is the video that I made for Joseph when he was leaving to go to Afghanistan.  I think it came out pretty adorable.

Playing Catch-up

    Okay so I have been gone for awhile.  Let me tell you.. a lot has happened!  Joseph came back from deployment early in October due to having severe allergies in which he goes into anaphylactic shock. (He's allergic to enviornmentals) So it was this totally amazing thing and yet at what price.  He can't do all of the things that he used to do without being worried about having a possible severe allergic reaction. Needless to say it sucks.  (Especially for Joe) It's hard when you are such an active person and have always been able to do anything and everything... and then all of a sudden you have to completely re-learn your body.  It's hard watching him go through that.

    When he returned from Afghanistan we got pregnant immediately.. We were SO excited.  Probably the best news we could have ever received. We went out and started our baby registry.. Then nine weeks later it all came crashing down.  It was an ectopic pregnancy. My right fallopian tube burst and I had to go in for emergency surgery. After tons of doctors visits it was concluded that my left tube had blockages and our safest and most successful way of having a child... would be to do IVF.  So here we are. (I know I summarized that pretty quickly lol)

    Now we're on the pathway to IVF and I'm getting ready to start all of my meds on the 23rd. I'm kind of nervous about having to poke myself with needles and such... but hey! No pain no gain!  We have had to pay for it all out of pocket so it has proven to be a very tight year for us.  However I am remaining positive that it WILL all pay off in the end! So that's the majority of what has been going on.  I have been away from blogging for awhile... but I am hoping to get back into it.  It might be a neat way to keep track of our IVF journey. :)  Everyone keep us in your prayers that it all comes together for us during this cycle. Thank you

This is legit.

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one.  -One Tree Hill

Wish You Were Here

[[This would've been so much more beautiful if you were here with me.]]

Dear Brain. Please Shut Up.

    So Joe's out and about. Normally I do better with this.  Usually I have it all together.. I don't let myself get worked up.  I have trained myself well to deal with sketchy situations.  I just roll with the punches and have faith that God has his hand of protection over them in all situations they're dealing with. However, today seems to be different.  Maybe it's everything that is going on in my life back here in the states. Maybe it's because he's in "the bad city." Maybe it's because Joe has just been popping into my head randomly..and the stress combined with that, is just giving me this awful feeling. The fact that communication seems to be shut down isn't helping.  OR OR OR! Maybe I'm just losing my mind. LOL.  I just want to hear that glorious Skype alert going off saying that I have an incoming video call...  I want to see his gorgeous face.. listen to his familiar voice.  Then everything would instantly be okay.  He's my rock and needless to say I miss him.  I miss that firm foundation that I have grown so accustomed to. I miss the snoring... the talking in his sleep... the noise of him dropping his shaving cream at 5am..the way he smells...the way he looks at me.. i miss it all.  I want it back.. all of it..right now.  But I still have quite awhile.. Hmpf.  Well we know what that means!  Enough whining...  time to put my big girl panties back on and start trudging away. Lift my chin up and smile super duper big.  Because even though I dislike the empty spaces in my day (times that are designated for Joseph).. I still have a lot to smile about.  Because somewhere out there... thousands and thousands of miles away... there's a Texas boy who loves me to no end. It makes me happy just to know that he exists. Although sometimes it seems like forever... there will be a day when he will come back and I'll wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tighter than ever before.  And Here's the kicker:  It will have all been worth it.  In that one minute... all the loneliness, the anxiety, the stress.  It will all completely fall away.  Because in that exact moment in time I will have absolutely everything that I need.

Flashback to Pre-deployment leave in TEXAS

    I thought I would give u a quick review on some of our photos from Texas.  We had a great time there and we have memories that will last a lifetime. I am so blessed to be connected to such an amazing family.. along with a super duper, fantastic, brilliant, warm, big hearted, understanding man.  (If you haven't noticed I LOVE HIM A LOT) haha <3

Joseph with his nephew, father and older brother Phillip.

Riding the neigbor's horse Toby

Yeeehawww

Toby

Joseph killing snakes and being all redneck. haha

<3

<3

Sunset in Texas

I'm in love with this pasture... unfortunately it's a no go because Joe says it is too close to his parents house. haha

dorky man

The river walk in san antonio

He's so handsome

:)

LET'S GET CRACKIN'!

Feeding Ferdinand

R.I.P.  lil baby

Brotherly Love

Joe w/ his parents

Saying goodbyes to the family before we boarded the plane to come back to CA.

Operation: L.O.V.E.

    I've always highly enjoyed playing with Joseph.  I think it's mainly because I love hearing him laugh. His laugh is by far the most glorious thing my ears have ever heard. When he laughs it's like everything is instantly right in the world.  [[Oh, and by the way the smile that accompanies that laugh is absolutely contagious.]] I do obscene things such as flushing the toilet when he's in the shower.. dancing in the car.. playing airplane.. or even completing a flying leap onto his back when I'm in desperate need for a piggy back ride.  His squeals of delight absolutely warms my soul and is the primary indication that I have succeeded in my conquest. What is this conquest you might ask?  Well it's quite simple really.  The object of my mission is to light up his life as much as he has lit up mine. To love him so much that he never has to feel empty again. To make him laugh until he's out of breath and smile until his face hurts.  He has been the biggest blessing that I have ever received...[[and that is an understatement]]

    He arrived at a moment in time when I was bruised and broken and showed me what it felt like to be loved unconditionally.  Through time..patience..and lots and lots of love.. he slowly repaired everything that was broken.  He put me together again and showed me a type of love that I had only dreamed of.  He is my best friend, my confidant, my biggest supporter and the best personal pillow a girl could ask for. :) This is just a summary of things and I'm sure that as time goes on, I'll go into more detail about my life before... my life with Joseph..and a glimpse into the dreams of our future together.