Dear Brain. Please Shut Up.

    So Joe's out and about. Normally I do better with this.  Usually I have it all together.. I don't let myself get worked up.  I have trained myself well to deal with sketchy situations.  I just roll with the punches and have faith that God has his hand of protection over them in all situations they're dealing with. However, today seems to be different.  Maybe it's everything that is going on in my life back here in the states. Maybe it's because he's in "the bad city." Maybe it's because Joe has just been popping into my head randomly..and the stress combined with that, is just giving me this awful feeling. The fact that communication seems to be shut down isn't helping.  OR OR OR! Maybe I'm just losing my mind. LOL.  I just want to hear that glorious Skype alert going off saying that I have an incoming video call...  I want to see his gorgeous face.. listen to his familiar voice.  Then everything would instantly be okay.  He's my rock and needless to say I miss him.  I miss that firm foundation that I have grown so accustomed to. I miss the snoring... the talking in his sleep... the noise of him dropping his shaving cream at 5am..the way he smells...the way he looks at me.. i miss it all.  I want it back.. all of it..right now.  But I still have quite awhile.. Hmpf.  Well we know what that means!  Enough whining...  time to put my big girl panties back on and start trudging away. Lift my chin up and smile super duper big.  Because even though I dislike the empty spaces in my day (times that are designated for Joseph).. I still have a lot to smile about.  Because somewhere out there... thousands and thousands of miles away... there's a Texas boy who loves me to no end. It makes me happy just to know that he exists. Although sometimes it seems like forever... there will be a day when he will come back and I'll wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tighter than ever before.  And Here's the kicker:  It will have all been worth it.  In that one minute... all the loneliness, the anxiety, the stress.  It will all completely fall away.  Because in that exact moment in time I will have absolutely everything that I need.