830 Productions- Semper Fi

Everyone please listen to this. It was written by my lil brother in law Dylan Parrish for his older brother and my husband Joseph Parrish when he was in Afghanistan. If you really stop and listen to it, the lyrics are awesome. I literally cried with pride when I heard this. ♥ ♥ Please get this out there! There is definitely talent!

[[.Country.Strong.]]

♥I have weathered colder winters
Longer summers without a drop of rain
Push me in a corner and I’ll come out fighting
I may lose but I ‘ll always keep my faith♥



   Okay so the big news is in!  The Compassionate Care Program called me this morning.... ::::DRUMMMM ROLLLL::::::   WE'RE APPROVED!!!! So happy right now you have no idea. So basically I am saving $1,000 on one of my meds.  SO AWESOME. This is exactly what I have been praying for. I am excited to be one step closer to IVF & and step closer to being a mommy. Super exciting. There have been so many neat things happening to us. I have been making some pretty bold decisions lately though. (Long story....) Joseph has been extremely chipper and loving lately. :)  I love it when he's like that.  It makes my day brighter in a sense. I love that pain in the butt wonderful man. He had another allergic reaction today when he went to base.  His Sgt had to Epipen him.. and then for whatever reason the first one did not work.  So they ended up needing to Epipen him again.  Poor Joe.  I know how hard it is for him.  It's not easy feeling so limited in the things that you can do all the time.  He's strong though. Stronger than I think he gives himself credit for. But he really is just such a strong, determined, big hearted, handsome individual. I have such immense respect for him and I love him more than anything.

"I'm too young for this.."

    Lately we have been trying to apply for the Serono Compassionate Care Program.  If approved, they will cover the cost of my Gonal-F for in-vitro.  Now let me just tell you that my Gonal-F is worth $1,000...  Pretty pricey.  So I have been scraping away to do what i have to do to get all the form and documents necessary to apply.  Well.. today i did it!  I got all of the papers together and they are now sitting on the desk of someone. This person will soon decide our fate.  So let's keep our fingers and toes crossed. lol.  We should know the answer within the next few days. I am pretty excited.  Joseph had sat in awe watching me as I sifted back and forth through the papers... stopping to look at this one... putting that one back in the folder.  The he calmly says, "I'm glad that I have you and that you're good at this kind of stuff."  I replied, "Why is that?"  He than said with wide eyes, "Because I am too young for this paperwork stuff."  HAHAHAHA. He let out a pretty good chuckle at that point. He was joking and yet I'm pretty sure he was being serious at the same time.

    I think Joe and me have pretty much got it sorted out. He's not very good at paperwork and sifting through bills or e-mail correspondence.... and I am.  It's just easy for me.  I guess I get it from my mom.  I am perfectly okay with that though.  Joe is good at tons of things that I am not good at.  Joe can play any sport and naturally be amazing.  He can do math like nobody's business and he can make people laugh like nobody's business.  I can't stand math on the other hand.  I'm amazing at writing and English.. and I am pretty uncoordinated.  Although on a horse I am graceful as can be.  It makes so sense to me really.  However, I have somehow grown used to the idea that I am not an easy person to understand. lol.

This is the video that I made for Joseph when he was leaving to go to Afghanistan.  I think it came out pretty adorable.

Playing Catch-up

    Okay so I have been gone for awhile.  Let me tell you.. a lot has happened!  Joseph came back from deployment early in October due to having severe allergies in which he goes into anaphylactic shock. (He's allergic to enviornmentals) So it was this totally amazing thing and yet at what price.  He can't do all of the things that he used to do without being worried about having a possible severe allergic reaction. Needless to say it sucks.  (Especially for Joe) It's hard when you are such an active person and have always been able to do anything and everything... and then all of a sudden you have to completely re-learn your body.  It's hard watching him go through that.

    When he returned from Afghanistan we got pregnant immediately.. We were SO excited.  Probably the best news we could have ever received. We went out and started our baby registry.. Then nine weeks later it all came crashing down.  It was an ectopic pregnancy. My right fallopian tube burst and I had to go in for emergency surgery. After tons of doctors visits it was concluded that my left tube had blockages and our safest and most successful way of having a child... would be to do IVF.  So here we are. (I know I summarized that pretty quickly lol)

    Now we're on the pathway to IVF and I'm getting ready to start all of my meds on the 23rd. I'm kind of nervous about having to poke myself with needles and such... but hey! No pain no gain!  We have had to pay for it all out of pocket so it has proven to be a very tight year for us.  However I am remaining positive that it WILL all pay off in the end! So that's the majority of what has been going on.  I have been away from blogging for awhile... but I am hoping to get back into it.  It might be a neat way to keep track of our IVF journey. :)  Everyone keep us in your prayers that it all comes together for us during this cycle. Thank you

This is legit.

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one.  -One Tree Hill

Wish You Were Here

[[This would've been so much more beautiful if you were here with me.]]

Dear Brain. Please Shut Up.

    So Joe's out and about. Normally I do better with this.  Usually I have it all together.. I don't let myself get worked up.  I have trained myself well to deal with sketchy situations.  I just roll with the punches and have faith that God has his hand of protection over them in all situations they're dealing with. However, today seems to be different.  Maybe it's everything that is going on in my life back here in the states. Maybe it's because he's in "the bad city." Maybe it's because Joe has just been popping into my head randomly..and the stress combined with that, is just giving me this awful feeling. The fact that communication seems to be shut down isn't helping.  OR OR OR! Maybe I'm just losing my mind. LOL.  I just want to hear that glorious Skype alert going off saying that I have an incoming video call...  I want to see his gorgeous face.. listen to his familiar voice.  Then everything would instantly be okay.  He's my rock and needless to say I miss him.  I miss that firm foundation that I have grown so accustomed to. I miss the snoring... the talking in his sleep... the noise of him dropping his shaving cream at 5am..the way he smells...the way he looks at me.. i miss it all.  I want it back.. all of it..right now.  But I still have quite awhile.. Hmpf.  Well we know what that means!  Enough whining...  time to put my big girl panties back on and start trudging away. Lift my chin up and smile super duper big.  Because even though I dislike the empty spaces in my day (times that are designated for Joseph).. I still have a lot to smile about.  Because somewhere out there... thousands and thousands of miles away... there's a Texas boy who loves me to no end. It makes me happy just to know that he exists. Although sometimes it seems like forever... there will be a day when he will come back and I'll wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tighter than ever before.  And Here's the kicker:  It will have all been worth it.  In that one minute... all the loneliness, the anxiety, the stress.  It will all completely fall away.  Because in that exact moment in time I will have absolutely everything that I need.