Wish You Were Here

[[This would've been so much more beautiful if you were here with me.]]

Dear Brain. Please Shut Up.

    So Joe's out and about. Normally I do better with this.  Usually I have it all together.. I don't let myself get worked up.  I have trained myself well to deal with sketchy situations.  I just roll with the punches and have faith that God has his hand of protection over them in all situations they're dealing with. However, today seems to be different.  Maybe it's everything that is going on in my life back here in the states. Maybe it's because he's in "the bad city." Maybe it's because Joe has just been popping into my head randomly..and the stress combined with that, is just giving me this awful feeling. The fact that communication seems to be shut down isn't helping.  OR OR OR! Maybe I'm just losing my mind. LOL.  I just want to hear that glorious Skype alert going off saying that I have an incoming video call...  I want to see his gorgeous face.. listen to his familiar voice.  Then everything would instantly be okay.  He's my rock and needless to say I miss him.  I miss that firm foundation that I have grown so accustomed to. I miss the snoring... the talking in his sleep... the noise of him dropping his shaving cream at 5am..the way he smells...the way he looks at me.. i miss it all.  I want it back.. all of it..right now.  But I still have quite awhile.. Hmpf.  Well we know what that means!  Enough whining...  time to put my big girl panties back on and start trudging away. Lift my chin up and smile super duper big.  Because even though I dislike the empty spaces in my day (times that are designated for Joseph).. I still have a lot to smile about.  Because somewhere out there... thousands and thousands of miles away... there's a Texas boy who loves me to no end. It makes me happy just to know that he exists. Although sometimes it seems like forever... there will be a day when he will come back and I'll wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tighter than ever before.  And Here's the kicker:  It will have all been worth it.  In that one minute... all the loneliness, the anxiety, the stress.  It will all completely fall away.  Because in that exact moment in time I will have absolutely everything that I need.

Flashback to Pre-deployment leave in TEXAS

    I thought I would give u a quick review on some of our photos from Texas.  We had a great time there and we have memories that will last a lifetime. I am so blessed to be connected to such an amazing family.. along with a super duper, fantastic, brilliant, warm, big hearted, understanding man.  (If you haven't noticed I LOVE HIM A LOT) haha <3

Joseph with his nephew, father and older brother Phillip.

Riding the neigbor's horse Toby

Yeeehawww

Toby

Joseph killing snakes and being all redneck. haha

<3

<3

Sunset in Texas

I'm in love with this pasture... unfortunately it's a no go because Joe says it is too close to his parents house. haha

dorky man

The river walk in san antonio

He's so handsome

:)

LET'S GET CRACKIN'!

Feeding Ferdinand

R.I.P.  lil baby

Brotherly Love

Joe w/ his parents

Saying goodbyes to the family before we boarded the plane to come back to CA.

Operation: L.O.V.E.

    I've always highly enjoyed playing with Joseph.  I think it's mainly because I love hearing him laugh. His laugh is by far the most glorious thing my ears have ever heard. When he laughs it's like everything is instantly right in the world.  [[Oh, and by the way the smile that accompanies that laugh is absolutely contagious.]] I do obscene things such as flushing the toilet when he's in the shower.. dancing in the car.. playing airplane.. or even completing a flying leap onto his back when I'm in desperate need for a piggy back ride.  His squeals of delight absolutely warms my soul and is the primary indication that I have succeeded in my conquest. What is this conquest you might ask?  Well it's quite simple really.  The object of my mission is to light up his life as much as he has lit up mine. To love him so much that he never has to feel empty again. To make him laugh until he's out of breath and smile until his face hurts.  He has been the biggest blessing that I have ever received...[[and that is an understatement]]

    He arrived at a moment in time when I was bruised and broken and showed me what it felt like to be loved unconditionally.  Through time..patience..and lots and lots of love.. he slowly repaired everything that was broken.  He put me together again and showed me a type of love that I had only dreamed of.  He is my best friend, my confidant, my biggest supporter and the best personal pillow a girl could ask for. :) This is just a summary of things and I'm sure that as time goes on, I'll go into more detail about my life before... my life with Joseph..and a glimpse into the dreams of our future together.